Please Tell Me How

The First Steps towards a More Meaningful Future

Photo by Sebastian Doll on Unsplash

‘Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?-Mary Oliver

A new reader/subscriber asked a really good question after reading one of my posts.

The post was a Note about re-purposing the energy we waste on beliefs and habits that no longer serve us and transforming it into something useful.

In response, the reader asked-‘Please tell me how.’

If you are someone who easily relates to that ask-someone who knows there is something significantly missing from your life but aren’t sure how to find it-you should find some ideas here that will get you on the path towards a more meaningful life.

It could also be that you feel like your life was once on track, but now maybe you need a reset.

Because each of us is unique, there can never be a one size that fits everyone process.

I well remember many years ago when I resumed playing golf. I was excited to buy an instructional VHS tape made by Jack Nicklaus-‘Golf My Way’. Eagerly and methodically I duplicated each of his steps. What I discovered after a month was that I could never swing a golf club like Jack does if for no other reason than our bodies and minds are different.

I did get one good idea watching it though, and that is all we should hope to happen when we watch a video or read a great book on personal development. One usable idea makes the time spent reading worthwhile, if we put that idea to immediate use.

Although we are all going to respond differently, there are common elements we can all take advantage of.

For me, the starting point is always going to begin with regularly asking yourself leading questions and expounding on your answers in your journal.

It also includes candidly talking with someone else about what is on your mind, especially those leading questions. By releasing some of your concerns, you should feel lighter and know that you have created some space for other thoughts.

Those leading questions are whatever guides you to those magical ‘AHA’ moments that you catch and can use to open up an expansive dialogue with yourself.

You could ask yourself:

-Are you happy with your life?

If there is one thing you could add to or have more of in your life that is not money-What would it be?

If there is one thing/ person/ obligation you wish was no longer a part of your life- What would it be?

-What are you grateful for? Why? What else comes to mind?

-Who/what are your priorities in life? Why? What else?

How would you optimizing your life affect your priorities?

-Two years from now, what do you ideally want your daily life to be like?

What would you be doing/ thinking/ feeling that you are not doing now?

What would you no longer be doing?

What are you going to be glad you started doing differently right now?

-What is missing from your life?

What is not happening that you wish was? What difference could that make?

Are your thoughts generally about what you can’t do, or what you can do?

-How can you be useful to others, perhaps in a new way?

-How do you talk to yourself, especially after something you do doesn’t have the results you were hoping for?

-How do you typically react when things don’t go your way?

The way we react is crucial to our personal growth. We can always learn something no matter what the results are.

-In what way is your spirit trying to get your attention as you are thinking about this?

These are just a few of the questions you can regularly ask yourself.

A few points to keep in mind:

-As creatures of habit, we resist change. We like being in our comfort zones, even if life is far from perfect. Feeling uncomfortable is a sign that you are brushing up against the edges of your comfort zone.

Stay uncomfortable.

-According to Google, we each have tens of thousands of thoughts every day. Ninety percent of those thoughts will be the same as all the days before. It will take time for a new set of constructive thoughts to merge into your consciousness and take the place of those that have worked against you.

-Avoid asking yourself ‘Why’questions such as ‘why did this happen?’ They are about your past and you could end up stuck as you go deeper and deeper into a bottomless pit.

Ask yourself forward looking questions such as ‘What will you do right now to begin having new possibilities in your life’?

-Be patient-This process will take time.

-Understand that various setbacks will keep coming up. How you respond to them will either be a learning experience that takes you forward or it will knock you backward.

-Begin with small regular steps.

-Lower your expectations about results. They will seem elusive at first.

-Momentum beats will power. Developing habits takes time.

-Learning to Let Go of the outcome whenever you do something new. Study the results, make adjustments and do it again-and keep adjusting.

These are just some of the steps anyone can take to begin or continue transforming the energy of those habits of thinking and doing that no longer serve you into useful and powerful steps towards the future.

My questions for you are:

What will you do with them?

What would be a good first step for you?

When will you take that step?